Research suggests parents need a minimum of 15-20 minutes of “me time” per day. For some busy moms, that could sound impossible. For others, it may sound like far too little. Much comes into play when finding the correct amount of “time for self” such as being an introvert versus extrovert, the stress level of home or job life and relationship status. But for mothers in all categories, what are some easy strategies for carving out time? Here are four tips.
Release the Day
In the midst of runny noses, carpools and cooking, stopping for a moment of calm may not sound realistic. But, like any skill, it becomes easier the more it’s practiced. If you feel surrounded by chaos, try taking a few moments for heart-centered breathing. Place your hand on your heart and imagine your heart is taking breaths, a bit deeper than normal, for just five seconds. This can be done anywhere (even in the school pick up line). Or if you have time mid-day, phone a friend or email family about your life and experiences—remembering to include joy, gratitude or small wins. And if your time comes only before bed, it is a great time to journal about your day, emotions and stressors. As the saying goes, ‘Better out than in.’
Create a Quiet Space
Think there’s nowhere to have alone time? I know several mothers who sit in the car a few extra minutes. It can be filled with coveted silence or beloved music. I often use “stolen car moments” to listen to audiobooks. In one such audiobook, a mother would sit in her dark bedroom closet and meditate on the floor while her kids were young. But before you hide away, look outdoors. Nature can also be a quiet space. Take the dog for a walk with no distractions. Create peaceful habits.
Rediscover Your Passion
Creative outlets stir up lighter feelings. Turn on your favorite song and dance, put on noise canceling headphones and write a poem or post about your season of life; paint, draw, create. Join a pottery or jewelry-making class. The act of creating is a healthy habit for everyone. I know one busy mom who bakes up a storm after the kids are in bed. She sells and shares her baked goods, yes, but admits it’s mostly because she loves the solo act of night baking.
Practice Alone Time for All
At a young age, I checked in with my kids when emotions got high. Are you tired? Hungry? Do you just need some quiet time? I still remember my mother shaking her head in awe when my preschool-aged daughter shouted, “I just need some alone time!” Since then, when the overall vibe of the house gets high, we sometimes all retreat to a different room. In the right doses, solitude is healthy for humans of any age. Benefits include reduced stress, emotional regulation and improved sleep. As soon as they are old enough (or even if a crib is involved), consider alone time for all. ::
