The period—it’s a natural process and a big part of the female experience. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy to discuss, especially if you didn’t grow up in a family that was open with that sort of conversation. Mine certainly wasn’t. But putting forth the effort is well worth it.
Now that my daughters are in their late teens, I feel like we’re finally maybe period pros. But there’s definitely been a learning curve. As I look back on the early days of getting ready for old Aunt Flo, here are a few tips I wish I’d been given.
Start talking . . . early
The average age to start menstruation is 12, but there’s a fairly wide range. At 10, and without having gotten the “talk,” I was caught way off guard. So I made sure that didn’t happen to my own kids. We talked early and often.
Ask what they already know
You might be surprised at how much your kids have already picked up along the way, especially as they enter puberty. Help fill in the gaps and clear up any misconceptions they have.
Be factual, but be positive
Is there much truly positive to be said about periods? Probably not. But your own attitude can heavily influence your child’s. Be matter-of-fact, use the proper terms for body parts, but don’t make it scary. If they can see periods as no big deal, it’ll greatly lessen the anxiety for them.
Read up
While open conversation is so important, it helps to have another source of information that maybe isn’t as embarrassing as talking to Mom. Numerous books cover puberty in a way that’s friendly to kids. Find one that resonates with you and leave it in their room so they can explore the topic on their own terms.
Prep a kit
Starting in late elementary school, I gave each of my daughters a small period kit to keep in their backpacks–just a small, discreet bag with a couple pads to start. They’re still in use today.
Branch out
While pads are an easy starting point, they have their limits. When your child seems ready, introduce tampons and how to safely use them. Many other options exist too. After falling in love with period panties last year (hello leak-free nights!), both of my girls got a pair to try in their Christmas stockings.
Expect some unpredictability
Periods are rarely regular in those early years, so don’t be alarmed. And remember that factors such as weight, diet, activity and stress can affect cycles. Even within the same family, what’s normal for one may be nothing like what another experiences.
Address the struggles
My periods as a teen were awful, and I thought you had to just grin and bear it. From hot pads to medications, talk about options for pain relief. Help your child understand PMS and ways they can work through challenging emotions. If they are struggling with heavy bleeding or discomfort, don’t shy away from bringing it up at a health care visit.
Don’t forget other family members
If we want boys to be empathetic to their sisters, friends, partners and future children, they have to understand this whole period business too. The same goes for dads. Give them the facts and help them learn ways to be supportive.
