About 18 months ago I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. I saw a glimpse of her before she was brought to meet her parents. My husband held my hand while my c-section incision was closed, and then I was wheeled to a room to start my recovery. It was weird not having a baby in the room, but I didn’t mind the quiet. I spent a few days thinking about the previous year as a gestational carrier, and I couldn’t have imagined a more meaningful final pregnancy.
I would be lying if I said I always dreamed of being a gestational carrier. It wasn’t until my second child was born, and I was done having kids, that I seriously started to think about it. I can’t really explain it, but my body ached to carry one more baby. Once I started talking to my husband and a friend who had been a surrogate, I knew in my bones that it was something I needed to do.
I worked with an agency that matched me with intended parents, and boy did they nail it. My husband and I said yes to the first couple we met. They were laid-back and trusting, qualities I didn’t even know I was looking for until we met them. They were incredibly caring and often reassured me that my health and comfort were a priority. I could not have asked for a better couple to carry for. The downside to doing this during the pandemic is that we did not have an opportunity to meet in person until a month before their girl was due to arrive. From our first meeting, they felt like family. We’ve remained in touch since her birth, and they occasionally send pictures, which truly makes my day.
Any woman who has carried a baby will probably say that you don’t really rest easy until the baby is born. That isn’t any different when you are carrying for someone else. There’s a certain amount of pressure you feel throughout the entire process for things to go right. You can do everything right, and there can still be complications. I feel very lucky that my entire process was positive.
Multiple people have asked if it was hard “giving up a baby,” but she was never mine in the first place. I went into this knowing that it was just my oven but totally not my bun, and never once did I feel like I was giving her up. People also ask if I would do it again. While the hormone injections and the aches and pains of pregnancy were not my favorite things, I would do it 10 more times if I was able. My surrogacy coordinator told me to think of all the lives I changed–not just her parents and other family members but any future friends, spouses, children or neighbors. I can’t help but feel proud of that.
