I am a mama to two boys, and with both of them, I was a breastfeeding “failure.” What did that mean for me? Well, my firstborn was four pounds, five ounces when he was born. My BFF had just successfully pumped exclusively for a full year, so because he was so tiny and had a lip and tongue tie, I decided right away I was going to be a pumper.
Turns out, my body hates pumping. I will spare you the details of the elasticity of my baby-feeding parts but suffice it to say, I ran myself ragged trying to get my body to produce enough to feed my son. We made it about four months before, sobbing and depressed, I packed away the pump and switched to formula.
My second-born was bigger, and he had a good latch right away. But we would feed and feed and feed and he wasn’t gaining enough weight. When my supply regulated, it regulated way too low for him, so we were told to feed him formula in addition to breastmilk. Eventually, after many, many visits, the lactation consultant diagnosed an “inefficient suck,” and I switched to pumping exclusively, in addition to formula feeding. This time, we made it eight months before I joyfully kicked my pump to the curb forever.
Here’s the thing, aspirational exclusive breastfeeding mamas: It might work for you. It might be easy. You might have to fight for it. You might make it one week or one month or more than a year. Or you might not. Breastmilk is a wonderful thing. But so is formula.
Here are my top tips for baby feeding in the first year:
- 1. Bring sterile pipettes to the hospital. For some new babies, mom produces enough milk right away that they don’t need to supplement with breastmilk in the hospital. But for lots of babies, to keep their glucose levels up, they’ll need some supplemental donor breastmilk or formula before they go home. The bottles that hospitals use release milk REALLY easily, which can make babies frustrated when breastfeeding because they have to work a lot harder to get milk. To avoid baby developing a preference for bottles, use sterile pipettes to feed baby any donor breastmilk needed in the hospital. You can continue this at home, if needed, too.
- 2. If you’re having trouble, go see a lactation consultant or hire a postpartum doula. Talk to your friends who have been through breastfeeding before. Every experience is different. Some ideas will work for you. Others won’t.
- 3. Get naked. Skin-to-skin is important no matter how you feed your baby. Strip yourself and your baby down and just hang out while you watch TV or read. If you breastfeed, skin-to-skin can help you be successful. If you don’t, skin-to-skin can give you that physical and emotional connection and oxytocin boost that breastfeeding does.
- 4. Breastfeeding isn’t JUST about getting calories into your baby. If you end up switching to pumping or formula, you can still breastfeed! Even if baby doesn’t eat a ton directly at the breast, the act of breastfeeding can help mom and baby bond.
The most important thing to do when embarking on breastfeeding journey? Give yourself grace. Do not do what I did. Do not beat yourself up and make yourself miserable to try to achieve an impossible goal. Listen to your body and listen to your baby. You know what’s best for your situation. Healthy mama and healthy baby are the most important—inside and out!
